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You shouldn’t rake your leaves, you monster

You shouldn’t rake your leaves, you monster

A new study explains why you shouldn’t rake your leaves, and it includes the fact that you may be destroying a necessary ecosystem, you monster.

In a clear triumph for the forces of not doing yard work, there is a very good reason not to rake your leaves – several of them. In fact, raking the leaves may actually be bad. You may even be murdering an entire ecosystem, you monster.

Ok, so it might not be quite that extreme, but a new blog post highly scientific research paper from the National Wildlife Federation claims that raking your leaves is bad for everyone and everything. The joy of having one less household chore to do is just a bonus.

To begin with, when the leaves fall, they create a home for small animals, including box turtles and chipmunks – depending on your region, of course. These animals depend on the autumnal strip show to survive the winter. That’s sort of a general reason not to rake, but there are more specific ones.

Decomposing leaves often become home to other forms of life, including butterfly pupae. This not only means you get your very own butterflies in the spring, it also provides a source of food for birds – again, depending on your region. If you are in a relatively warm area during the winter, this could provide birds food throughout the season, or it could be the food they need to fuel up for their migration south.

So if you rake your leaves, you are basically killing all kinds of animals. How could you.

If that’s not enough reason for you though, there’s a very good, selfish reason to not rake the leaves. Decomposing leaves become excellent, natural mulch that fertilizes the soil and leads to a healthier yard. So by not raking your leaves, you will likely have a better looking yard in spring.

There’s one other good reason to not rake the leaves: the environment.

Yard debris is responsible for 13-percent of all solid waste in the United States. When the decomposing leaves litter a landfill, they inevitably lack oxygen as they are covered by new layers of trash. That lack of oxygen helps to create anaerobic microbes from the decomposing material, and that in turn releases methane that can negatively impact the environment.

Leaves left out in the open air that receive oxygen in turn create aerobic decomposition, which produces carbon dioxide and water, both of which are good for your yard.

So to summarize: raking is bad for everyone and everything, and could help to bring about the end of the world. Feel free to use that argument the next time someone wants you to clean up the yard.

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Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.
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