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The third Portal song from Jonathan Coulton song is here, and it features cake

The third Portal song from Jonathan Coulton song is here, and it features real cake

If you are a gamer and haven’t played the previous Portal games… well you may be a bad person. I don’t make the rules. They are among the best puzzle games of all time, and feature some incredibly witty and biting dialogue.

Along with the running attempts from GLaDOS to first kill you and then just try to make you feel bad, plus the one-sided conversations with the idiot savant (minus the savant part) Wheatley, the game featured a pair of songs that soon became iconic. This word gets tossed around a bit too much, but it was brilliant.

Even if you’re not a gamer, the phrase “The cake is a lie” is probably familiar. Following its use in Portal, the phrase gained pop culture hit status. For awhile it was everywhere – which inevitably made it annoying, but it was still great.

The phrase was taken from a running gag in the story, but it also played heavily into the first Portal end credits song, written by Jonathan Coulton. The song is actually titled “Still Alive,” but it is also known as “The Cake Song.”

It was an instant classic. Check it out here if you don’t know it by memory.

Coulton followed it up in Portal 2 with “Want you Gone.” It wasn’t quite as memorable as the previous song, but it was still better than most music in games.

Now, Coulton has followed up with a third Portal song, this one appearing in Lego Dimensions, titled “You Wouldn’t Know.”

Check it out, and here are the lyrics, courtesy of Destructoid:

Funny story I forgot how much of a big fat mess you are
I’ve been busy doing science, it’s been tons of fun so far
Everything clean, nothing on fire, all by myself, finally

Things change when they don’t replace your core
It feels so strange not to hate you any more
But you wouldn’t know, would you?

I was saying this to Batman, oh, he was here the other day
Maybe you know him, he’s a big deal, but I don’t think of him that way
He’s just a friend, someone I trust, someone who won’t kill me

I’m fine, just in case you think I’m not
I am this time, I’m better with the friends I’ve got
But you wouldn’t know, would you?

I don’t mean for this to sting
I forgive you everything, you monster
I can guess the reasons why
You are never coming by

I should go, there’s something happening that will make you wish you stayed
There’s a party with a real cake, yes it’s real, a cake I made
Talking and fun, testing and fun, all of this fun, without you

Too bad you let it get so out of hand
How much we had, finally I understand
But you wouldn’t know, would you?
You wouldn’t know, would you?



Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.
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