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Scientist finds 3.5 million year old bacteria, injects it, plans to live forever

Scientist finds 3.5 million year old bacteria, injects it, plans to live forever

A Russian scientist by the name of Antoli Brouchkov is probably not a lot of fun at parties. He might be interesting, even full of wild stories, but he probably isn’t the type of guy you want to invite over on Sunday for wings and some football.

Brouchkov was investigating a 3.5 million-year-old bacteria, frozen in the Siberian permafrost. So, he did what any responsible, well-educated scientist would do – he injected the bacteria into his body just for shits and giggles. Since then, he claims that he hasn’t had the flu for two years and he is stronger than ever. Oh, and he thinks he is on the path toward immortality. Like you do.

Shockingly, Brouchkov is an actual, honest-to-god scientist, and not a scientist in the field of, like, “Good Vibes” with a degree from the University of Southwestern Easter Island State. Instead, he is head of geocryology at Moscow State University. So basically, he should know better.

The bacteria in question is Bacillus F, one of three rare bacteria strains found in 2009 in a permafrost site called “Mammoth Mounter” in the Sakha Republic. Researchers tested the bacteria in mice, because of course they did, and found that it increased their lifespans. In fact, the older female mice gained plenty of energy and even managed to produce offspring.

Apparently to Brouchkov, further research is for the weak, so he straight up supervillained it, injecting himself more or less to see what would happen.

“I started to work longer,” he said. “I’ve never had a flu for the last two years. But it still need the experiments. We have to work out how this bacteria prevents ageing. I think that is the way this science should develop. What is keeping that mechanism alive? And how can we use it for our own benefits?”

Beyond the additional stamina and improved immune system, Brouchkov has yet to develop any other abilities, thankfully. Usually when a scientist injects themselves with an unproven concoction, they then become a monster. That’s just the way it goes, check out the old Doctor Who or an episode of X-Files for proof. So far, however, so good.

Brouchkov is a peach. Along with the other benefits, he also thinks the bacteria will make him immortal.

“I would say, there exist [in the world] immortal bacteria, immortal beings. They cannot die. To [be] more precise, they can protect themselves,” he said. “Our cells are unable to protect themselves from damage; these bacteria cells are able to protect themselves.”

Worth keeping an eye on the guy. He hasn’t destroyed any cities yet, but give it time. Either that, or maybe his hair will just fall out and he’ll die. That seems to be the more common option when people start randomly injecting themselves with stuff. Time will tell.

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Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.
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