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(UPDATED) Archaeologists Open the Totally Not Cursed Mysterious Black Sarcophagus

Archaeologists Uncover a Totally Not Cursed Mysterious Black Sarcophagus

A massive, black sarcophagus was just discovered undisturbed under the city of Alexandria, along with a massive alabaster head.

Archaeologists Uncover a Totally Not Cursed Mysterious Black SarcophagusUpdate: The sarcophagus has been opened, and so far there don’t seem to be any signs of a curse. But then again, maybe it’s just one more on the pile. 

Inside the sarcophagus, archaeologists discovered three skeletons floating in red sewage that had leaked in. It’s unclear who the skeletons are, but one of them had an arrow wound in the skull. The popular theory is that the three were soldiers, possibly officers. Not much is known beyond that, but the team will continue to research the site. 

 Original Post 7/12/18: Archaeologists working in an excavation site in Alexandria, Egypt, have just discovered something totally unexpected. Hidden for thousands of years, the researchers uncovered a mysterious and massive black sarcophagus, and they have no idea who might be in it. And while that may sound like the opening scene of a horror movie…  well, yeah, it sounds like the opening scene from a horror movie.

The sarcophagus is unique in a few ways, especially its size. Made entirely of granite, the ancient coffin measures 72.8 inches tall, 104.3 inches long, and 65 inches wide. It’s the biggest ever found in Alexandria. Another significant factor regarding the sarcophagus is that the layer of mortar between the lid and the body of the coffin is completely intact, meaning it has not been opened since it was first sealed well over 2,000 years ago. So any curses included should still be in mint condition.

Archaeologists Uncover a Totally Not Cursed Mysterious Black SarcophagusFound alongside the sarcophagus was a giant alabaster head. Time hasn’t been as kind to it, but its inclusion in the burial site along with the overall size and grandeur of the sarcophagus suggest that it was someone considered very important at the time.

Both the sarcophagus and the alabaster head were discovered around 16.4 feet below the ground. An exact date for the sarcophagus hasn’t been determined yet, but initial estimates put it somewhere in the Ptolemaic period (between 305 BCE and 30 BCE). The site is under close guard right now, but there will be plenty more research done on this.

The last few years have been great for archeology. New technologies and techniques have helped uncover everything from lost civilizations to new secrets inside of old. This latest find adds to that list, and more may be on the way. Alexandria is a city with history built on top of history built on top of history. Existing structures limit the scope of excavations, but as technology improves, so to do the means of identifying where archaeologists should be looking.

As for the totally probably not cursed sarcophagus, sooner or later archeologists will almost certainly want to open it, most likely after countless tests including several x-rays. Then, the actual opening will likely take place in a sealed and controlled environment to attempt to protect the inhabitant from the ravages of bacteria-rich surroundings. Hopefully, the sarcophagus won’t contain some ancient evil, but at this point since the world feels like it is a wee bit falling apart-ish anyway, what’s one more?




Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.