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Gwyneth Paltrow is full of shit, confirms NASA

Gwyneth Paltrow is full of shit, confirms NASA

If you need evidence that Gwyneth Paltrow is full of shit, look no further than her company Goop’s latest product that claims a connection with NASA.

Gwyneth Paltrow is full of shit. Yeah, I know, that’s kind of a “hot take” and I’ve repeatedly raged against clickbait-y headlines, but this one is well deserved.

While most people know her for her film career, Paltrow holds a second job as CEO of the lifestyle company she co-owns, Goop. Now, if you spend time on the internet and have managed to avoid some of Goop’s “advice” over the last few years, you’re better off for it. Not only does it reek of rich, dumb privilege, it espouses terrible advice masquerading and scientifically-proven help that could cause you serious damage. And it’s a crock of shit.

It’s one thing to offer $400 nipple clamps or a $15,000 solid gold dildo, it’s your money to waste, but offering something like a recommendation for women to steam their vaginas borders on criminal – literally. Steaming one’s vagina can lead to severe medical issues. Goop and Paltrow also claim that it can “balance hormones,” which will, apparently, improve… stuff. Either someone convinced them that this ridiculousness is legit and they ran with it without bothering to check, or they just made it up themselves. Either way, they are offering things that they claim can medically help people but can actually send them to the hospital.

They even have multiple doctors popping up throughout the site pitching their own nonsense. Pro tip: Just because someone has a medical degree, it doesn’t mean they can’t be batshit crazy and/or willing to make some shit up in order to sell IV drips as hangover cures. And sure, to each their own. If some jackass with too much money wants to inject themselves with an IV because Gwyneth Paltrow’s website told them to do it, more power to them, right? Except using an IV can cause infection, pain, and swelling at the point of the injection, especially when it is attached to a drunk asshole.

Gwyneth Paltrow is full of shit, confirms NASAAnd that’s far from the only time that Goop has offered advice that is medically dangerous. Paltrow recently espoused the idea that women should shove a jade egg the size of a golf ball up their vaginas and leave it there all day to increase “vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.”

Gynecologists urge people not to do that, especially not with jade, which is porous and can allow bacteria to lead to life-threatening infections. Goop also suggested that bras can lead to breast cancer, an assertion based entirely on questionable anecdotal evidence and citing data that has since been conclusively refuted.

Well, Goop and Paltrow are at it again, and this time they’ve dragged NASA into their bullshit. And NASA was quick to respond.

Goop recently began selling a “wearable sticker” (their description) known as “Body Vibes.” The idea is that by harnessing the “healing power of energy” or some such nonsense, people can put these stickers in specific places, which “come pre-programmed to an ideal frequency, allowing them to target imbalances. While you’re wearing them—close to your heart, on your left shoulder or arm—they’ll fill in the deficiencies in your reserves, creating a calming effect, smoothing out both physical tension and anxiety. “

To further sell these stickers – which retail at $60 for a packet of 10 – Goop initially claimed that the stickers were “made with the same conductive carbon material NASA uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronaut’s vitals during wear.” To confirm this, Gizmodo reached out to NASA to ask what the deal with its healing whatnot was. NASA replied that its spacesuits “do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits.”

So not only is Goop’s since-removed claim about using NASA tech bullshit, it’s total bullshit. It’s one thing to spin a study or make grandiose claims, but usually it’s based on something. This just appears to be completely made up.

When asked about it by The Independent, Goop replied, “Based on the statement from NASA, we’ve gone back to the company to inquire about the claim and removed the claim from our site until we get additional verification.”

So basically, Goop is asking itself where it got the verification that it seems to have completely made up. And the crazy thing is that Paltrow’s site is so fucking ridiculous that it might actually be investigating itself because that would be the least crazy thing it has done in a while.



Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.