The American Revolution as told through clickbait headlines
What would an American Revolution clickbait telling have looked like? About as dumb as all clickbait headlines. Check it out.
We’ve said it before and unfortunately we’ll probably say it again, but clickbait headlines are one of the worst things to happen to journalism since AP style decided to remove the Oxford comma (you’ll take the Oxford comma out of my cold dead hand).
That doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with them though.
Not long ago, partly out of frustration and partly out of fun, we decided to break down some of World War II’s biggest moments and turn them into clickbait headlines. We opened it up to friends and DBP followers, and things took off.
It was an interesting experience, so we decided to try it again, and this time we went with the American Revolution. We’ll probably do more of these in the future, so check out our Facebook page for the next one, then feel free to chime in. If we choose your headline we’ll be sure to credit you for it. From there you can lord it over all your friends and acquaintances. Good times shall be had.
On to the American Revolution clickbait headlines!
(1770-1774)
Colony Quiz: Find out where YOU belong! – Timothy Stout
If you use paper, you should stock up now before this new law passes
This little known secret gets residents of your colony out of paying stamp taxes! – Jason Bailes
The Townshend Acts are about to change everything
This man may be the first martyr of the American Revolution, and you won’t believe what he looks like!
Will there be another Boston Massacre?
You should stop drinking Tea right now
Taxation without representation and 6 other reasons why you are paying too much for groceries – Jeris Schaefer
If you like tea, you won’t like this news
EPA: Boston River Ecosystem Decimated by Local Tea Party – Jack Davis
You NEED to be paying attention to these men meeting in Philadelphia
(1775 – 1780)
Paris Shocker – which founding father parties all night? The answer will surprise you! – Mindy Waite Montgomery
Ben Franklin’s 23 shocking secrets to wooing older, married women. #15 is genius! – Dallas Neighbors
The British are coming and you won’t believe what color their coats are! – Jonathan Marcel
Lexington and Concord: the most important towns you’ve never heard of
The Continental Congress has chosen its Commander-in-Chief and he’s PERFECT
A British officer just became the second-in-command of the Continental Army, and he’s not happy about it
Patrick Henry’s last words will blow your mind!
A Royal Paine: A look inside the secret life of the author of the Federalist Papers. – Mindy Waite Montgomery
Paul Revere’s 5 yoga poses for longer harder ride – Trevor Anderson
Why France is awesome
The Continental Congress just released this must read declaration
One if by land, two if by sea: Only 1 in 10 can decipher this secret message, are you one of them? – Adria Decker Dismuke
5 Truths we hold to be self-evident – Stephen Weingarten
Washington just crossed WHAT?!
France just made a huge announcement about American independence
The King is mad, but not in the way you think!
5 lies the British tell about Americans
American forces need to do this one thing to survive the winter
5 things only revolutionaries living under the British in New York will understand
Are you a Loyalist or Rebel? Take this quiz to find out!
(1780 – 1793)
No, the Continental Army is not finished after its loss at Charleston
Betsy Ross’ latest pattern! It’s sew easy! – Natasha McMillan
He did it for love – the shocking details behind Benedict Arnold’s turncoat affair. – Mindy Waite Montgomery
John Paul Jones – pirate or privateer? 5 shocking revelations – Mindy Waite Montgomery
Ladies – keep your guy from being a minuteman and get what you need! – Jonathan Marcel
9 ways to put the fun back into public executions
5 easy ways to tell if your neighbor is a spy
After the Battle of the Capes, don’t expect to see more British troops for a while
Washington just DESTROYED Cornwallis with this one battle
The Electoral College has chosen the first US President and he’s PERFECT
Life AND Liberty! See what else they put in the Bill of Rights – Nara Sin
The Bill of Rights is Crazy – Number #1 will shock you
10 amendments the federalists don’t want you to know about. #2 will literally blow you away! – Travis Wilkins
