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The American Revolution as told through clickbait headlines

American Revolution clickbait

What would an American Revolution clickbait telling have looked like? About as dumb as all clickbait headlines. Check it out. 

We’ve said it before and unfortunately we’ll probably say it again, but clickbait headlines are one of the worst things to happen to journalism since AP style decided to remove the Oxford comma (you’ll take the Oxford comma out of my cold dead hand).

That doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with them though.

Not long ago, partly out of frustration and partly out of fun, we decided to break down some of World War II’s biggest moments and turn them into clickbait headlines. We opened it up to friends and DBP followers, and things took off.

It was an interesting experience, so we decided to try it again, and this time we went with the American Revolution. We’ll probably do more of these in the future, so check out our Facebook page for the next one, then feel free to chime in. If we choose your headline we’ll be sure to credit you for it. From there you can lord it over all your friends and acquaintances. Good times shall be had.

On to the American Revolution clickbait headlines!

(1770-1774)

American Revolution clickbait

Colony Quiz: Find out where YOU belong! – Timothy Stout

If you use paper, you should stock up now before this new law passes

This little known secret gets residents of your colony out of paying stamp taxes! – Jason Bailes

The Townshend Acts are about to change everything

This man may be the first martyr of the American Revolution, and you won’t believe what he looks like!

American Revolution clickbait

 

Will there be another Boston Massacre?

You should stop drinking Tea right now

Taxation without representation and 6 other reasons why you are paying too much for groceries – Jeris Schaefer

If you like tea, you won’t like this news 

EPA: Boston River Ecosystem Decimated by Local Tea Party – Jack Davis

You NEED to be paying attention to these men meeting in Philadelphia

(1775 – 1780)

American Revolution clickbait

Paris Shocker – which founding father parties all night? The answer will surprise you! – Mindy Waite Montgomery

Ben Franklin’s 23 shocking secrets to wooing older, married women. #15 is genius! – Dallas Neighbors

The British are coming and you won’t believe what color their coats are! – Jonathan Marcel

Lexington and Concord: the most important towns you’ve never heard of

The Continental Congress has chosen its Commander-in-Chief and he’s PERFECT

A British officer just became the second-in-command of the Continental Army, and he’s not happy about it

American Revolution clickbait

Patrick Henry’s last words will blow your mind!

A Royal Paine: A look inside the secret life of the author of the Federalist Papers. – Mindy Waite Montgomery

Paul Revere’s 5 yoga poses for longer harder ride – Trevor Anderson

Why France is awesome

American Revolution clickbait

The Continental Congress just released this must read declaration

One if by land, two if by sea: Only 1 in 10 can decipher this secret message, are you one of them? – Adria Decker Dismuke

5 Truths we hold to be self-evident – Stephen Weingarten

Washington just crossed WHAT?!

American Revolution clickbait

France just made a huge announcement about American independence

The King is mad, but not in the way you think!

5 lies the British tell about Americans

American forces need to do this one thing to survive the winter

5 things only revolutionaries living under the British in New York will understand

Are you a Loyalist or Rebel? Take this quiz to find out!

(1780 – 1793)

American Revolution clickbait

No, the Continental Army is not finished after its loss at Charleston

Betsy Ross’ latest pattern! It’s sew easy! – Natasha McMillan

He did it for love – the shocking details behind Benedict Arnold’s turncoat affair. – Mindy Waite Montgomery

John Paul Jones – pirate or privateer? 5 shocking revelations – Mindy Waite Montgomery

American Revolution clickbait

Ladies – keep your guy from being a minuteman and get what you need! – Jonathan Marcel

9 ways to put the fun back into public executions

5 easy ways to tell if your neighbor is a spy

After the Battle of the Capes, don’t expect to see more British troops for a while

Washington just DESTROYED Cornwallis with this one battle

American Revolution clickbait

The Electoral College has chosen the first US President and he’s PERFECT

Life AND Liberty! See what else they put in the Bill of Rights – Nara Sin

The Bill of Rights is Crazy – Number #1 will shock you

10 amendments the federalists don’t want you to know about. #2 will literally blow you away! – Travis Wilkins

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Founder and DBP boss. Ryan likes the Kansas Jayhawks, long walks on the beach, and high fiving unsuspecting people.
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